Saturday, May 2, 2009

One Ringy Dingy, Two Ringy Dingies…


I wonder if you get a mulligan for misdialing your only phone call in jail. Using the state of the art rotary phone I am sure you misdialed a few calls yourself. Wait, do you remember the rotary phone? I do, I was lightning fast. I could dial a number in about fifteen seconds, longer if there were a lot of nines and zeros. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t want people to think I remember the first phone Alexander Graham Bell designed back in the 1800’s. So to the older generation, your can and string was my rotary phone. Thankfully I don’t remember talking into the phone hanging on the wall.

When making the late night phone calls the dialing of the rotary phone was so loud I was more concerned about the noise of dialing than my actual conversation waking the family. You probably would only see this phone in your grandmother’s basement or the Smithsonian. Remembering phone numbers was a lot easier back in the day because you actually dialed the numbers on the rotary phone as compared to today where everyone’s number is on speed dial. I can still tell you phone numbers of my friends I called all the way back in the fourth grade. I am not a fan of the speed dial feature.

I can’t remember the last pay phone I used. How much is a phone call these days anyway? If they totally do away with phone booths, where would Superman change? Today with cell phones many people are doing away with house phones. Me personally, I don't talk on the phone like I did growing up. I am a text fan. I would rather text than talk. Text what you have to say, you’re done. No long drawn out conversations with people you really don’t want to talk to anyway. Don’t get me wrong I am not going to have a lengthy text conversation; I would rather get on the phone, say what has to be said then end the call. I don’t understand this fascination with talking on cell phones. Everywhere you go someone is talking on a cell phone i.e. on a bus stop, in a car, doctor’s office waiting rooms, in church etc. What is so important that can’t wait? You think you are that important.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Million For One

If you were never asked the question “Would you cut off your pinkie finger for one million dollars, tax free?” I am asking now, "Would you?" Or better yet, I would offer for you to have it surgically removed instead of barbarically cut off. I will even let you choose which hand. Your first reaction to the question would be “Of course I would remove it!” Who couldn't use a cool million sitting in the bank waiting for retirement? Don’t think you are going to retire on just a million in the bank, remember health insurance. Think real hard about this and not with your wallet. Think about all it is that you do in a week and then ask yourself if you could live without it. To test yourself in answering the question accurately, tape your pinkie down or try not to use it for one week. I thought about this one long and hard. I was on the fence for a while and realized I would take good health over money any day. Money may equal power but good health is everything. Remember, once the finger is off it may be hard to find one on sale for a million bucks.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Pins and Needles, Needles and Pins...


One day my father asked me if I wanted to watch a show called the Honeymooners. After my homework we sat down, loaded our state of the art VHS recorder with a tape of the show he recorded the night before. Might I add, which has no relevance to the story, it was a top loading VCR. Oh, you had one too! We sat and laughed so hard that I couldn't wait for the next episode. The Honeymooners changed the way I viewed television shows til this day. Kramer has nothing on Ed Norton. Just watch him do the Huckle Buck. The show has created memories that will last forever. The Honeymooners aired on channel 11 at 11:30pm right after The Odd Couple. I watched the show in preparation for the next day's trivia challenge at school where my friends and I would test our knowledge of the episode that aired the night before. I have the box set now on DVD of all 39 episodes. I sit and watch them as if I never saw them laughing as hard as ever. Even though I have the box set I look forward to New Years Eve / Day to watch the 24 hour marathon.